It's All Messed Up!
by White-Witch-Sakura
Summary: What happens when a “Doo hickie” Sam is working on Backfires? Hm can your say “Oh Snap!” Every one but Teal'c is affected. Gender bender, rated M for safety. Look to the story for more information.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Don't own Stargate SG-1, wish i did, cause it would still be making season.

Believe it or not this is a demo, i am very insecure about my stories and nudge them out and then have people tell me what they thing. I am telling you that this is a Gender bender, rated M for safety. I do need a beta for it, and am looking for a beta for my Ronin warrior one that i have yet to put into word doc. (still writing chapters.)

I am always told that constructive criticism works wonders.

Chapter 1

**Oh Snap!**

Dr. Daniel Jackson, a handsome man is his thirties, archeologist, linguist, and current member of SG-1, walked out of his office in a hurry. Rushing down the corridor his already quick pace hastened further when he caught sight of his good friends and fellow SG-1 members, Jack and Teal'c.

"Jack, Teal'c, wait! Does either of you know where Sam is right now?" Daniel asked as he rushed up to them.

"Yeah Danny, she is in her lab fiddling with that doo hickie from P3-whatever. Why is something wrong?"

"Shit!" was all the explanation Daniel gave as he took off running down the hall to the elevator. Exchanging a worried glance, both men followed their wayward friend.

They all piled into the elevator as Daniel pushed the button for Sam's floor. After the doors had closed and he still hadn't received a suitable explanation for the archeologist's odd behavior, Jack grabbed Daniel and spun him around to face him.

"What the hell is going on and why are you cursing and running for Sam?" Asked Jack as he stared worriedly at Daniel, checking to make sure that he was all right.

"Jack that device that we brought back with us from P3X 948 is sort of like a genetic manipulator that if turned on wrong… let's just say that it won't be pretty." Daniel explained quickly as he waited anxiously for the elevator to reach his desired floor. The moment the doors were open enough to fit his rather slim body through, Daniel had rushed out of the elevator and into Sam's lab.

Jack, Teal'c, and Daniel entered only to find Sam already working on the device. As one they shouted, "Don't!" watching with muted horror as she reached out and touched the centerpiece of it.

"Huh, what's wron-" Was all she got to say as a beam of light shot out and covered all of them in a split second.

A pained scream was heard coming from Sam's lab as the beam once again became contained in the centerpiece of the device. On the floor lay Sam, Teal'c, Jack, and Daniel. Though something wasn't right. Sam was a little lighter than before, though Teal'c looked just the same as always.

Jack looked as if he had regressed to about the age of 20; he was also shirtless, giving an unrestricted view to the marks of angel wings that started to appear on his back. Though the wings looked as if they were just newly done tattoos, they were healing at an alarming rate.

Daniel however, was affected differently than the others. While Daniel too was missing his shirt, something else had changed. Besides the fact that he had the same tattoo on his back as Jack did, Daniel Jackson appeared to no longer be of the male persuasion, but instead of the female….

TBC...

Like i said tell me what you think. no R&R tells me not to update it.

Please if any one would not mind Beta a Ronin warrior (Anime) story please email me.


	2. Dear Reader

Dear Readers,

As you know I have not updated in so long, and I am sorry. I am experiencing a mental block. Really I am; my dear friend said that I should not write due to very bad grammar, plus the fact that I cannot think of a thing to write for "It's All Messed Up!"…

I have an idea that may help me. I issue a challenge to all that are reading my story. I want you to write what you want to happen next, than email it to me so I can see what will trigger my mind. If I see some thing that does help I will give the credit to that wonderful person.

Now none of you wonderful reviewers are obligated to respond to this, but it may help me get back on track.

I will also put this message on the story "Bitter Sweet" so that those readers can help me too.


	3. Chapter 2: WTF

Disclaimer: I do not own the character or the plot of Stargate Sg-1. I am just playing with them

**Chapter 2: WTF**

"Blood pressure is normal"

"Temp is at 98 degrees"

Blood work on Carter and Teal'c are normal. It seems that what ever the light was it only affected Dr. Jackson and Colonel O'Neill."

"Can you tell me what is wrong with my 2IC Dr. Frasier?" asked a bald man that just stepped into the infirmary.

" Well, General it seems that the alien device has regressed Colonel O'Neill by all medical sense it is as if he is 21 again. Sir." Replied the Doctor.

"21?"

"Yes sir. Now Dr. Jackson on the other hand has been regressed to the age of roughly around the age of 19 to 20, and has been turned into a woman." Said the Doctor as she looked at the chart in her hand.

"What about what is on their backs?"

Well, Sir. It would seem that they have Angel wings tattooed on their backs. Though why they are there; we are still trying to find out."

The doctor and the General looked over the medical records for further anomalies that might have accrued to both the Colonel and the Doctor when the light hit them.

"As far as the blood work goes, they are all perfectly healthy. Carter has also been regressed to the age of 25, but nothing else can be found to suggest that any thing has changed. She does not posses the angel wings that Jack and Daniel have." Said Dr. Frasier as she started to flip through the files. " The symbiote in Teal'c as been destroyed and the machine has given him a new immunity system. I do not have any medical proof that if he too has been regressed. He too does not posses the angel wings."

"Perfectly Healthy doctor!!"

"Yes sir, Nothing is wrong with them" Said Frasier "O'Neill's torn ACL is no longer torn, it seems the machine takes you back to your prime, Now all we have to do is hope that it didn't regressed their minds as well. But all aliments are gone. It is a medical break through."

"All Aliments!! I'd say it caused a few!" exclaimed the General as he looked at the doctor. "Medical marvel my ass, this is a piece of technology that is going to bite us in the ass one day and now it is. It has changed my best team."

Yes sir, I agree, but till we can figure out away to change them back they are stuck." Stated the Doctor. " I wish we could do more, but there is nothing we can do but wait till they wake up to tell us what they know."

"Let me know the minute they wake up! I want to be here." Stated the General as he left.

Frasier turned to the nearest bed with a sigh, 'Why can't SG-1 stay out of trouble for once. I mean is it too much to ask for!' she stated mentally.

After checking all of their charts and fixing the IV's she went back to her office to write her bazaar report.

4 Hours Later

The rustling of standard issue medical sheets caught Frasier's attention. Walking into the other room she watched as Jack O'Neil stared to wake up. Picking up the phone on the wall Dr. Frasier called General Hammond in his office.

"Sir, Colonel O'Neill is waking up."

"I will be there shortly" Stated General Hammond.

Hanging up the phone and pulling out her trusty penlight, she walked over to Jack. Looking him over for any signs of pain.

"Colonel O'Neill? How are you feeling?" She asked as she shown the penlight in his eye to see the dilation responses. " You have been out for quite awhile."

"I feel like crap. What happened?"

"What can you remember?"

"Daniel running up to Teal'c and I, asking us where Major Carter was." Stated Jack as he shook the fog out of his head.

"Then what?"

"We told him that she was playing with the device from out last mission. He freaked and ran for the elevator, Teal'c and I followed to ask what was going on. He told us that the machine messed with your genetic something or other code, if not turned on right." Jack said as he looked at the doctor only pausing as General Hammond walked into the room. "So we ran out of the elevator and in to Carters Lab…" Jack paused for a moment " after that all I can remember is a flash of bright white light."

" Well Dr. Jackson was right, it did mess with your genetic make up. For example: you have been regressed to 21."

"HUH!!"

"For all intense and purpose you are 21 again. Your torn ACL has been healed to as if you never torn it, you also have Black Angel wings on your back." Said the Doctor as she looked at him.

"What?? Was I the only one affected?" Jack asked

"No, you all were. Teal'c has also appeared to have been healed, he as a new and completely functional immune system. The baby Gou'ld has been destroyed."

"Wow!"

"Major Carter was regressed as well to the age of 25, all her previous injuries have been healed. Other then that nothing else has happened to her. Yet. Now Daniel "

"What's wrong with him!" Jack asked frantically, his eyes looking for Daniel. His Daniel.

"Daniel was the most changed, Daniel to has been regressed, though he is roughly 19 or 20. Daniel also has angel wings, only his are white instead of black. The machine also turned him into a woman." Frasier explained.

"WHAT!! Turned into a woman!! Is there any way to fix it?" Jack asked worry deep in his voice.

"We are trying to find a way, but till Dr. Jackson wakes up we wont be able to know what he knows." Replied the Doctor.

The sound of stirring on the other bed causes them to look over to see Daniel waking up. They watched as Daniel moved his head back and forth trying to wake up.

"Mmmm…Ja…Jack what happened?" said a husky female voice that came from Daniel. "Where are we?"

"In the Infirmary Daniel." Replied Jack with a smile.

Daniel opened his eyes to see Jack on a bed beside him with Frasierand the General beside him. Looking down at his body he noticed he has breast.

"Why do I have breast?"

Jack snickered as he sat up in his bed putting his legs over the side.

"Because you're a woman now Dr. Jackson. " Replied General Hammond

"Can we call you Danielle now?" Cracked Jack.

"Do and I will castrate you!" threatened Daniel.

"Oh, more violent now, Doc, add mood change to the list"

"What else is wrong with me? Tell me before I panic."

"Well, Dr. Jackson you have been changed into a woman, you have been physically regressed to around 19 or 20, you have no physical injuries any more, you have your appendix back, and last but not least you now have White Angel wing on your back. While Jack has Black ones."

"What?" asked the now female Dr. Jackson

"You have been turned into a woman"

"No, no. No. The Tattoo."

"Oh you have White Angel wings on your back."

"And Jack has the black ones. Right?"

Yes, Colonel O'Neill has the black ones."

"Oh! Well that is amusing to no-end!"

"Why Daniel, what is it?" asked Jack

"Because from what I read fro the limited history that we have of the planet, the people who lived there were a race of Angel like beings. Some had black wings while others had white." Daniel said as he/she sat up in the bed as well to face them.

"And?"

"As I was saying the ones with the Black wings are the males, and the ones with the White wings are the Females. At one point in their history the Gou'ld came and killed a large portion of their people, no surprise there, but after that they left. They didn't take their resources or any thing. They obviously fought back but they only had mundane weapons they were a peaceful race- that is till they are attacked. The history gets a little fuzzy after that but…."

"So what happened to them?" asked General Hammond

"Well this race is a race that you have mates, once you have mated you can't be with anyone else. In fact if one of the mates dies the other will follow shortly pending if they don't have small children, but in some cases they too die. Very big on family."

"Nice."

"In a few of the pages that we found it told us that the population was rapidly declining, so they created a machine that genetically altered some." Daniel kept explaining, "As for where they are now, I don't know. It says, "that at last of the children of Angles will be returned, when they find home again". My guess is that they left the planet in search of a place to live peacefully, or sent some away and they are the ones they are talking about."

"Wonder where they are?" stated Jack

" I don't know but if we ever want to get back to our regular selves we have to find them." Replied Daniel

"Well till they are found, SG-1 will be on stand-down." General Hammond said

"But Sir! SG-1 is still needed!" exclaimed both Jack and Daniel.

"SG-1 will be on stand down for medical examinations and so that they can see if any thing else is affecting you."

"Sir! It could take months before they figure this out."

"Then we better work fast to get you back to your normal selves." Replied the General as he left the infirmary.

"Doh!"

TBC…

AN: sorry it took so long for this chapter to come out. I am going through writers block galore. I do need a beta though so if anyone has any time could you please email me if you want to be my beta.

2AN: I am sorry for the constant changing in the chapter. People have pointed out my bad grammar and misspellings so I have hopefully corrected a lot of it. If not just tell me and I will, also thank you to those who have already helped me.

Loves


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